Winning at life
by Sturmgeschuts
Summary: Even Yutaka can come up with an extravagant scheme once in awhile. But at least it's to bring someone a truly special birthday. Challenge fic, info inside.


This is an entry to the now (Probably) famous (In this section at least) Mostly Lucky Star Forum's writing challenge number four. I had to hunt down a plot bunny for this one; had to break out a twelve-gauge.

Now let's get crackin' eh!

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Step one: Convincing Konata

The day was fast approaching, but despite her best efforts, Yutaka couldn't pick out a gift. Fourteen days to go and she hadn't even scratched the surface, but she was going to ask her cousin. After all, the daughter would at least know what her father wants, right? She made her way up to Konata's room and knocked lightly. When she heard a crash and some scuffling noises she considered walking away, but the door opened a crack and Konata's face appeared, panting for breath.

"What is it?" Realising that it was just her younger cousin, Konata opened the door. "I thought you were dad for a moment there. Is there something you need?" Behind her on the bed were several catalogues scattered about, with many red circles and crosses on them.

"I was hoping you could help me pick a gift for Oji-san." Yutaka sat at the table in Konata's room, sighing in annoyance. "What kind of stuff does he like?"

Konata froze, clearly thinking deeply about something. Yutaka could have sworn her cousin was panicking for an unknown reason. "Uh, well, he likes to be in the company of many people...and he likes it when others dress up. Also, he's been working hard lately, so something to put him at ease would be good."

Yutaka though hard about it for a moment, the possibilities were endless, but her budget was limited, so... "What about a maid?"

Konata froze again, clearly unnerved by the idea. "A maid? Like a housekeeper? But, can we afford one for a day? And our house is pretty clean."

Yutaka put a finger to her chin thoughtfully, gazing up at the ceiling. "Um, Patty says a maid is different from a house-keeper. I was thinking we could get some friends together and be Oji-san's personal maids for the day."

Konata looked like someone had just revealed her darkest secrets to a crowd of people. Her face then contorted to an expression of outright fright. "A-are you sure that's a good idea. My dad, he gets really weird around a lot of people."

Yutaka smiled innocently, completely ignorant to what her older cousin might have to hide. "It's his birthday, so it shouldn't matter, right?" Naive Yutaka felt that this couldn't in any way go wrong, unless... .

"But, how are you going to convince anyone to help? Being a sla—I mean, a maid for a day isn't something anyone would normally look forward to." Konata seemed confident her argument was strong enough to shoot down the idea, but Yutaka... .

"I'll do my best to convince them. I can do favours so they'll help." Yutaka stared at her cousin with endearing eyes, projecting all of her cuteness into her gaze and asked her, "Is there anything I can do to get your help?"

Konata froze. Her lips trying to form a refusal, but none came. Her younger cousin's overwhelming adorable aura prevented her from giving a negative response. Finally, drained and defeated, she gave in with a sigh. "Help me pick out a game for him, and I'll help you." She put one of the catalogues in front of Yutaka for her to pick from. "Anything circled he already has, and the ones crossed out are beyond my price range."

Yutaka looked through the catalogue slowly, glancing at appealing titles and pictures, until one with a tall, stoic girl, and a small, cute girl holding hands caught her eye. She somehow felt a sort of connection to the picture, an unexplainable relation. With a dramatic gesture she pointed to the game. "This one, I think."

Konata picked up the catalogue and read the description, her eyebrows rising as she did so. "Ooh, the only game by an acclaimed creator to feature a playable female character. I'm surprised I missed this one. Thanks Yu-chan! I'll help you out then." Konata put the book down and used a green marker to put a check mark beside the game. "Ask my friends, I'm sure they'll help if you help them out."

"Thank you!" Yutaka beamed brightly before leaving the room, blissfully unaware that she had just picked a game out of a PC Eroge game catalogue.

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Step two: Twin Trouble

"EH? You want us to do what?" Kagami was red with embarrassment, her expression of surprise and distaste. "Did Konata put you up to this?"

Yutaka shook her head, gesturing with her hands humorously. "N-no, it's my idea entirely. You see, my uncle's birthday is coming, and I thought this would be a nice gift for him."

Kagami's expression softened, realizing that the small girl was indeed telling the truth...not that she actually thought she was capable of telling a lie. "You said you'd do me a favour then, what kind of favour?"

"Umm...I don't really know, is there anything you need help with?" Yutaka scratched her head, slightly embarrassed.

Kagami face-palmed at the girls lack of overall strategy, but then she realized that there was something she needed help with. "Actually, I have to make something for my cooking class...I'm not the best cook, and I could use some help."

Yutaka nodded with a determined look on her face. "I'll do my best!" Actually, Yutaka wasn't that much of a cook herself...but it couldn't be that bad, right?

_Thirty minutes later... ._

They stared at the plate of burnt cookies, slightly disappointed in their work. Yutaka vehemently apologized for messing up the recipe. "I'm so sorry! I didn't know this would happen! I guess this means you won't be helping me then, but I understand." Yutaka wasn't being manipulative, she actually believed what she said, but she was unaware that, while she pouted, she inadvertently released her overwhelming aura into the room, crushing Kagami's free will like a bug.

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Part three: Twin trouble too

"I'm amazed you got Onee-chan to help, she doesn't like this sort of thing." Tsukasa tilted her head innocently, some work on the table in front of her. "I'd love to help you, just tell me what I need to do."

Surprisingly, Yutaka refused the free help. "N-no, that wouldn't feel right. I need to do something for you first!" She insisted a few more times until the younger twin agreed.

"Well then...oh! I need to review the work from my first year, and I can't make sense of the math." Tsukasa indicated the papers before her. "Could you help me please?"

"Sure!" They went about their work, Yutaka explaining the problem and Tsukasa trying to solve it. The room was filled with pleasant conversation and an aura of sweetness that would give cavities to anyone who might have looked inside. Little did either of them know that their efforts were entirely in vain, and Tsukasa's grades would not increase in the slightest.

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Part four: Moe Miyuki

Yutaka stood outside the home of Miyuki Takara, a piece of paper given to her by Kagami showed that this was indeed the right location. Yutaka was small; such a large house was intimidating. She had only been here once before, during the summer festival when she discovered it was across the street from Minami's house...she still needed directions though. She came up to the door and knocked. She waited until the door opened before making a noise to notify the woman in front of her that there was indeed someone there. "Umm...excuse me, down here!"

"Hm? Yukari Takara looked down at the small girl. "Oh? Are you selling cookies, I didn't know it was that time of year yet." She was about to head inside to get her wallet, but Yutaka stopped her.

"N-no! I'm not selling cookies! I'm here to see Miyuki." Yutaka waved her arms to keep the woman's attention. Then something occurred to her, "Umm...are you Miyuki's sister?"

The woman chuckled. "No, I'm her mother, but thank you for the compliment."

"R-really? I didn't realize!" Yutaka was guided in, and directed up the stairs to Miyuki's bedroom. After Yukari announced the presence of a guest, and made her way back downstairs. "Umm...I was wondering if you could help me with something..."

_Five minutes of explaining and convincing later..._

"...of course, I'll do something for you first." Yutaka continued. "Is there anything you need help with?"

Miyuki mumbled thoughtfully at the prospect. "Well...I have a dentist appointment today...perhaps you could come with me as emotional support?"

Yutaka nodded. "I know how you feel, it's so horrible once the drill starts isn't it?"

"Yeah, I've actually run away before during the appointment, I was so embarrassed." Miyuki cradled her aching jaw, which stung like fire.

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Part five: Minami's motivation

After the terrifying trip to the dentist, Yutaka bid farewell to Miyuki at her front gate, then crossed the road to Minami's house. She said her usual greeting, started explaining the situation, but was interrupted by Minami's mother.

"Minami, it's time for Cherry to have her bath." Minami's mother pulled the girl out of the room, receiving no resistance. A bark was heard, then the sound of running water and objects being shuffled around. The scraping of claws on the porch and a woof, followed shortly by a crash announced the dog's escape. Another crash, a gasp, another woof, a shout of surprise, another bark, another crash, and a loud splash later, and Cherry's bath was over. The dog appeared in the patio door and lay down while Minami's mother dried her off. Minami stepped over the dog and came face to face with the guest she had forgotten.

Yutaka's face went red at the sight of Minami, who was soaking wet, her bra-straps showing through her blouse. Yutaka covered her mouth in an attempt to stifle a gasp.

Minami noticed her and, turning bright red, ran out of the room. She returned a few minutes later in dry clothing and sat down across the coffee table from Yutaka, her composure still not entirely restored. "I'll do anything, just forget you saw that."

Yutaka was about to argue, but after hearing the desperation in her friends voice, she felt like she didn't want to be there much longer. She had an idea to turn this to her advantage...she knew she really shouldn't, but it was a special occasion. "Well, there was something I'd come to ask you..."

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Part six: Hiyori's help

"Shh! Keep your voice down." Hiyori was sitting in her living room with Yutaka, going over Yutaka's idea with a plate of cookies. "I don't want my brother to hear you."

Yutaka didn't understand what the problem was, but she started whispering anyway. "Is there anything you need help with? I'll do anything to get your help. I want to make my uncles birthday special." Yutaka watched Hiyori hopefully, inadvertently releasing her adorable aura once again.

Hiyori tried to resist, but the power of Moe overwhelmed even her strong resistances, crushing her free will into a fine powder to be distributed amongst a clan of South American pygmies. "I-I suppose, uh w-well, I need a model...can you show me your best 'mischievous' look?"

Yutaka was unsure why Hiyori wanted to see her do it, or how she was supposed to look mischievous, but she struck a pose that she hoped would work. She put one hand on her hip and pointed to her mouth with the other, closing one of her eyes in a mock wink and, as a final bit, a cute smile.

This new look, one that Hiyori could never have imagined herself, stunned her momentarily before she remembered that she needed to sketch it. She pulled out her book and began her drawing with difficulty. Normally Yutaka had a simple figure that was always in a distressed position, but today the sketch was difficult; while cute, Yutaka's mischievous look had none of her normally stressed qualities to it, now making her seem quite out of character. Once she was finished, she put the book down and sighed, signalling that Yutaka could relax. "Okay, you have my help...what were we cos—I mean dressing like?"

"Umm...we were being maids for my uncle." Yutaka had forgotten she was supposed to keep her voice down. The sound of the door to the hallway closing silenced them, Hiyori was frozen solid.

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Part seven: Patty's participation

Upon hearing the idea, Patty was all for it from the start. "Ooh, sounds like fun! I'm in!"

Yutaka waved her hands in front of her, once again refusing the free help. "N-no, wait, I can't just have you do something for me! I have to do something for you first! I'll do anything for you."

"Oh hoh? Really?" Patty actually considered some pretty lewd ideas, before realizing that she'd probably scar the poor girl for life and lose her trust entirely. "Well...I've been having a little trouble with my Japanese lately. There are some words I can't seem to use in context properly." She grabbed a list off a nearby shelf and handed it to Yutaka.

The list was filled with a series of common religious terms and names of popular tourist attractions, stuff that most Japanese people and many tourists would know and understand. How Patty had been able to spend so long in Japan without learning them was beyond Yutaka, but at least she could help with these terms quite easily.

_Ten minutes later..._

After a montage of attempts to get the words right, Patty finally seemed to be able to grasp the principal behind the words, though it was brought up that she really didn't need to know the words anyway. "I hope I was useful to you." Yutaka did a short bow.

"Thanks, well then...I guess this means I've got to help you out." Patty scratched her head in a sort of 'why not?' gesture. She was about to send Yutaka on her way, but her phone rang, cutting her off mid-thought. "Hello? Oh? You too? Really?" She paused as Hiyori spoke for a considerable length of time. "Okay, I'll tell her." She hung up the phone and turned to Yutaka. "Hiyori says she was able to get some maid costumes. And before you say anything, she says that you can pay her back later. Apparently she knows how you can repay her."

"EH? But...okay." Yutaka sighed; feeling very tired all of a sudden. "There's one more person to ask, but I don't know where she lives... ."

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Part eight: Capturing Kuroi

Yutaka decided she was never going to ask why Patty had this address. She cautiously knocked on the front door to the apartment and waited. She waited for about five minutes before the door creaked open to reveal a messily dressed woman with long blonde hair. "Umm...Kuroi -sensei?"

"Eh? What'cha want?" Kuroi had all the symptoms of a nasty hangover, but at least she wasn't violent.

"W-well... ." Yutaka explained the situation to the teacher. "...and I think it's important that we have an adult with us."

Yutaka's explanation had a sobering effect on the teacher, who found the whole idea to be completely pointless and utterly ridiculous. However, her computer was in the shop for repairs and Yui had to work, so she had nothing better to do. "Well then, I'll help you if ya write an eight-hundred word report on the hundred Year's War between England and France in one hour." Of course she was going to see just how determined the small girl was.

_One hour Later..._

Kuroi read the paper slowly, mentally documenting every error. "Okay, that'll do." Kuroi gave Yutaka a thumbs-up and winked. "Count me in." Admittedly, the report was the single-most horrible piece of writing the teacher had seen in her entire career...but she had nothing to do on the day of the party, so she might as well join in.

"Really?" Yutaka was astonished, having thought that the report wasn't good enough. "Well, we'll be meeting at the Tamura house tomorrow to try on the costumes." Patty had told her this, so she had yet to even see the clothes herself.

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Part Nine: One size... .

"Hiyorin...these are all the same size." Konata held up the maid outfit between her and Yutaka. "This might fit the three of us, but this won't do for anyone else."

"She's right, but they're really cute!" Yutaka held the outfit up against her, and couldn't help but think it was different than usual.

"Well, my brother made them adjustable. Apparently he's experimenting with the one size fits all theory." Hiyori pulled a cord and the outfit adjusted accordingly.

Yutaka gasped at the sight of the newly transformed costume, which was now far more revealing and somewhat risqué. "Th-this is... ." She found herself at a loss for words at the sight. It's not that she didn't like it; it was just that she could never imagine herself wearing something like that.

"Well then, time to change. Is everyone here yet?" Konata picked up one of the outfits, holding it up against herself.

"I think Patty piled them all into the living-room. It seems the crowd has scared my brother into hiding, thankfully." Hiyori was folding the costumes into a box which she would have Patty carry down.

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Part Ten: Attractive Attire

Yutaka felt faint, but not because of her weak constitution. She'd been trying out her new costume and had gone with Hiyori to get some snacks from the kitchen, but when she re-entered the living-room; her vision had been blocked by Kuroi's chest...which wasn't particularly well covered by the skimpy outfit. She felt very dizzy from having come so close to her teacher like that, and found herself needing to sit down.

The costume was very conservative for Yutaka, Konata, and Hiyori. On Minami it was stretched lengthwise, but she seemed disappointed at something with the front of the costume. The twins' outfits were at the point of not being overly revealing, but still showing enough skin to make Kagami blush furiously; Tsukasa on the other hand, was either ignoring it or unaware that she should be embarrassed. The final three...Yutaka was sure she'd seen an outfit like that in a passing glance at one of her uncle's games. There was very little fabric covering their chests, Yutaka knowing this very well, and the skirt to the costume was rather short, only going to the half-thigh mark.

"I-I think Oji-san will be happy to have this kind of present." Yutaka sat on the couch, her face red like a tomato. For a moment, she thought she had seen her life pass before her eyes. "There are a few days until his birthday...let's make it special!" Yutaka threw her fist into the air, bringing a mixed cheer from the room.

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Final part: Maid Mayhem

Sōjirō locked the car door and made his way to the front door of the house. His back was sore, his neck was stiff, and his feet felt like they were on fire. He was exhausted both mentally and physically, and was unsure if he would be able to appreciate whatever his girls did for him that day. He didn't feel particularly unhappy about aging, nor was her too happy either. He unlocked the front door, and upon opening it was met with a note in the entrance.

_Oji-san:_

_Come into the living-room, your personal maids are ready to make your birthday very special._

_-Yutaka_

Sōjirō smiled, the mental image of his daughter and niece in their cleaning clothes with some common therapeutic products in their hands. When he entered the lining-room however... .

All at once, the assembled maids spoke their greeting. "Welcome home Master~"

Sōjirō froze; He felt faint, and found himself falling backwards. He could vaguely hear the girls rushing forward and could feel them carrying him onto the couch where they went about making him more comfortable. All the while a goofy grin plastered on his face.

Some days, he felt like the luckiest man on earth. That day, he was pretty sure he was the luckiest man alive!

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I omitted the changing scene on purpose, so don't get mad you perverts.


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